Steelers on Hollywood Blvd.

They say that Steeler Nation travels well. Sometimes, it also travels begrudgingly.

As has been the case for the past few years, the Steelers season opener found me in an alien zip code. Last year, I was perched at a bar near the front of Palms resort and casino in Las Vegas watching the Steelers knock Charlie Frye straight out of Cleveland (I was supposed to be making script revisions in our teleprompter). This year, I was in Hollywood, but instead of watching the game by myself, I decided to check out the Hollywood Steelers Fan Club (yeah, there is such a thing). I stumbled across the club while shooting the Iron Man premiere at Grauman's Chinese Theater earlier this year. The club literally sits right across the street from the theater, and their banner -- and the fact that they set up shop at a Hooters -- caught my eye (it was either that or listen to Terrence Howard). It was April, but they were still flying their banner. I didn't know if I'd ever be in town during football season, but I made a mental note just in case (and by "mental note," I mean "a fleeting through that was eventually washed away by Jack Daniel's").

But there I was last week at the Roosevelt Hotel, the kind of LA hotspot frequented by fedora-ed douchebags and the Russian models who love them (think "The Hills," but with more Eurotrash). By the end of my week there, I was ready for what Bill Hicks called "the cool, beautiful serenity called Arizona Bay... when L.A. falls in the f---ing ocean and is flushed away." The upside was that the hotel was about a half a block away from the club (well, that and the room service burgers... there's very little that a 2 a.m. cheeseburger can't cure).

I adjusted our show day schedule to ensure a late start on Sunday, making sure I could catch at least the first half with Hollywood's black and gold faithful. They did not disappoint -- the place was packed, there was vintage gear on the walls, and many chants of "here we go Steelers" (and the bartender, Ruby, didn't hurt either). I was literally hoarse by the time I got to work. According to Toogie, the founder/head chef/spiritual leader for the group, it was actually a scaled back event -- there's usually music as well, but he hadn't pulled that together in time for kickoff. The sea of Terrible Towels more than made up for it (as did Ruby... did I mention her yet?). Before my BlackBerry died for the weekend, I managed to grab some fuzzy, dimly lit photos as evidence. Please to enjoy.

Flying the colors:
















Vintage gear:
















The view from the back:
















Me and Toogie:

Steeler Nation Travels Well

A lot of people (and by "a lot of people," I mean my parole officer) have noticed my absence around these parts. Have I given up the blog? Am I no longer living by the black and gold ethos? Am I chained to a radiator somewhere? Rest easy, friends. Between mourning the passing of Myron Cope, Dwight White and our once potent pass rush, I've been a bit sidetracked.

So where have I been? The short answer is that I've been working (the long answer involves a lot of info that you may be encouraged to cough up to a Federal prosecutor at some point, so we're all better off sticking with the short version). This work takes me to some exotic, breathtaking locales. Inspired by these surroundings, I did what any good Steeler fan would do -- I stood in the middle of them waving a Terrible Towel (consider it my off-season workout).

CANNES, FRANCE -- 5/16/08

It's the pinnacle of international filmmaking, host to the most celebrated filmmakers of our age. It's where Oscar winners are unveiled and where blockbusters play to their first packed houses. It's the Cannes Film Festival, the most renowned film festival in the world. And now it's officially been all Steeler-ed up. (Important note: I didn't get my picture taken with Harrison Ford, but I did manage to get this shot… because I'm an idiot.)



UP NEXT -- MONTE CARLO

Life Without The Steelers... It Ain't Pretty

The Steelers bye week gave me the chance to check out what the rest of the NFL calls football. It wasn't pretty...

BROWNS 41 - DOLPHINS 31
The Joey Porter-enhanced Dolphins D gave up 41 points to the Browns as the fish slipped to 0-6. Probably not the return they were looking for on their $32 million investment in Joey. Through six games, he doesn't have a single sack, and yesterday, he was beaten for a big TD by longtime verbal (and sometimes literal) sparring partner, Kellen Winslow, Jr. No doubt, if there was a "lemon law" in the NFL, the Dolphins would be towing Joey back to the lot right about now.

PANTHERS 25 - CARDINALS 10
Apparently a top-op somewhere slipped up and accidentally rolled game footage from 9 years ago. That can really be the only explanation for the fact that I was seeing Kurt Warner and Vinny Testaverde behind center.

CHIEFS 27 - BENGALS 20
You know why Tony Gonzalez went bananas this week and put up two touchdowns? Because I traded him away in my Fantasy league. You're welcome, Kansas City.

PACKERS 17 - REDSKINS 14
Even when Brett Favre stinks, he's kind of great (or at least great enough to beat the 'Skins).

EAGLES 16 - JETS 9
This game was ugly... Like "Teri Hatcher without makeup" ugly. I realize that we live in the shadow of the Meadowlands, but Fox 5 really should have shown some mercy and cut away to a "M.A.S.H." rerun or something.

VIKINGS 34 - BEARS 31
Remember the old days of the NFC Central (yeah, "Central"), when hard-nosed teams played hard-nosed football... You know, with defense and everything? For a second, I thought I was watching two kids lighting up Madden '08.

BUCCANEERS 13 - TITANS 10
Conventional football wisdom says that games that come down to a last-second field goal are exciting. Sometimes, conventional football wisdom is wrong... painfully wrong.

JAGUARS 37 - TEXANS 17
And they laughed at me when I drafted Maurice Jones-Drew in the third round. Who's laughing now? Mr. 129-yards-rushing-and-two-touchdowns, that's who.

RAVENS 22 - RAMS 3
I missed this one... Did the Rams miss the player bus from the hotel Sunday morning?

CHARGERS 28 - RAIDERS 14
This is supposed to be the place where I say something about "the real LaDainian Tomlinson" finally showing up and racking up four TDs. Instead, since I'm bitter that he's not on my team, I'll instead ask if the Chargers offense allows anyone else to touch the ball.

SAINTS 28 - SEAHAWKS 17
I said it last week, and I'll say it again today: the Seahawks suck. I bet they miss Brian Bosworth.

Winning Baseball Coming To PNC

Cheer up, Bucco fans. Championship baseball is coming to Pittsburgh. Yes, the Yankees will travel to PNC next season for a series against the Pirates (so by "championship baseball," I mean "overpaid wildcard contenders who wilt in the clutch"... which still sounds better than that swan dive the Mets took).

From today's Post-Gazette:
The Yankees are scheduled to visit PNC Park June 24-26 for a three-game interleague series. The Pirates twice have played at Yankee Stadium in interleague play.

So the Pirates will manage to sell out at least three games next season. The number could swell to four if they book another post-game Styxx concert.

Check out the complete story here.

This Just In: Willie Parker Still Awesome

If you're like me, you spend the better part of your day daydreaming about revenge fantasies. So imagine the rich, creamy taste of vengeance and vindication that Willie Parker savored when he hoisted the Lombardi trophy high above his head after Super Bowl XL and thought about the rocket scientists who benched him in college:

How does a different kind of competitor respond when he can't compete? That's what Parker faced at UNC, where he barely played after coach John Bunting took over in December 2000 and decided Parker needed to put on weight to comply with the team's new power-running offense. "We were tough and hard when we first came in," says former UNC running backs coach Andre Powell, now at Clemson. "We knew Willie was talented; we just wanted guys to do it the way we wanted it done. In retrospect, I wish we'd been more tactful."

Unless "tactful" is some form of new-fangled slang for "able to assess pure football talent," I don't quite think coach is using it properly. Though football smarts like this make this guy a shoe-in when the Giants head coaching gig finally opens up.

Check out the whole story at ESPN.com.

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Week 2 Wrap-Up

NFL WEEK 2 POWER RANKINGS
1. Pittsburgh Steelers: an offense that moves at will, and a defense that doesn't budge... Plus, Mike Tomlin looks like he could break off his foot in your ass
2. O.J. Simpson: still a viable threat after all these years
3. Steve Smith: single-handedly pulling my nads out of the fantasy football fire
4. Pats, Lies and Videotape: eclipsed by O.J., but still an early front-runner for scandal of the year
5. the Cincinnati Bengals defense: the funniest thing I've seen on TV since "30 Rock"
6. Brett Favre: what is this guy, 80? who's laughing now? not me... I kept him on my fantasy bench
7. chicken fingers: still my go-to call at halftime
8. The Hand of God: Jon Kitna says "a miracle" wiped away his concussion symptoms... I say the miracle is that the Lions are 2-0
9. Larry Johnson vs. MySpace: hard for this story to find light behind the Pats tape library and O.J.'s return to the pokey, but any story that involves someone impersonating a star athlete is gold... One that involves them impersonating a star athlete on MySpace and cutting a hip-hop track is pure platinum
10. Kanye West, "Stronger": yes, he needs to quit whining, but this is the jam... I mean, he's no LJ, but he's got promise


WEEK TWO FANTASY FOOTBALL BREAKDOWN (I'm in two leagues, so twice the tragedy for me to recap for you each week)
League 1
P. Manning QB -- 21
M. Barber RB -- 20
M. Jones-Drew RB -- 4
M. Furrey WR -- 6
J. Galloway WR -- 25
S. Holmes WR -- 5
T. Gonzalez TE -- 4
N. Kaeding K -- 2
Steelers DST -- 6
TOTAL -- 93
Monday morning quarterback sez: despite Manning, Barber, and Galloway, I still lost by 15... My team has all the depth of a season of "The Hills."

League 2
M. Leinart QB -- 14
F. Gore RB -- 20
D. McAllister RB -- 3
S. Smith WR -- 33
H. Ward WR -- 5
T. Gonzalez TE -- 4
R. Gould K -- 9
Steelers DST -- 10
TOTAL -- 98
Monday morning quarterback sez: despite Deuce not showing up and Gonzalez killing me in two leagues, I'm currently up by 45 in this matchup... my opponent still has Brian Westbrook going tonight, but unless he touches the ball on every single snap -- and takes up kicking duties -- I think I'm in the clear.