TE = B-A-N-A-N-A-S

The Steelers trotted out first round draft pick Lawrence Timmons (NOT pictured at left) yesterday... nice enough guy, decent player, good to see him rocking the black and gold... but the big draft question of the day as the Steeler brass met the press was, "Hey, what's the deal with drafting a tight end in the third round? Especially when you already have two decent tight ends on the team and they see the ball about as often as I do?"

For those of you who don't speak football, let me try to break this move down -- imagine that you had a limited amount of cash (or in this case, draft picks). You walk into a grocery store where there's a wide but limited amount of options in front of you -- there's still plenty of cereal (in this case, offensive lineman, a staple of the NFL diet), there's some ok cuts of meat (or in this case, running backs), and there's even some interesting deserts (wide receivers). But you reach for the bananas -- yes, tight ends are the bananas of the NFL. No one gets excited about bananas. They're somewhat useful, but you can't build a meal (or an offense) around them. Plus, you already have a bunch of bananas at home, and they're rapidly turning brown and mushy. You say, "No, it'll be different this time. I'll use those bananas. I can put them on cereal, or mix them in a protein shake, or even eat them on their own." But deep down inside, you know you're lying to yourself... those bananas are going to sit on the counter until they grow black and mushy and you toss them into the garbage with a shrug thinking, "Why do I always buy bananas?" Honestly, you don't even know what to do with them -- Do you put them on the counter? Do you put them in the fridge? Do you place them in a brown paper bag and store them in a cool place? It's the same thing with tight ends -- Do you use them in pass blocking schemes? Do they support the run? Do they open up the passing game? No one really knows, which is why tight ends remain one of the universe's great mysteries... right up there with bananas.

The Steelers seem to think they have it all figured out though. They spelled out their reasons yesterday, and the "Post-Gazette" was there to catalog them all. I honestly hope they figure out a way to get a little banana up in the offensive scheme next season, or else we're going to wind up with some expensive brown mush sitting on the counter.