a punter who actually kicks ass

So a couple days ago, I said that I had a hard time getting excited about a draft day that saw the Steelers take a punter in the fourth round… then, the Post-Gazette unearthed this footage of brand spankin' new Steelers punter Daniel Sepulveda sending off a towering kick, hustling down field, and knocking the common sense out of the poor sap who managed to field the kick (he's also apparently bigger and faster than the linebacker we drafted in the first round).

After watching this clip (http://www.baylortv.com/streaming/000641/300kbps_ref.mov), I'm officially not saying another word about the guy.

TE = B-A-N-A-N-A-S

The Steelers trotted out first round draft pick Lawrence Timmons (NOT pictured at left) yesterday... nice enough guy, decent player, good to see him rocking the black and gold... but the big draft question of the day as the Steeler brass met the press was, "Hey, what's the deal with drafting a tight end in the third round? Especially when you already have two decent tight ends on the team and they see the ball about as often as I do?"

For those of you who don't speak football, let me try to break this move down -- imagine that you had a limited amount of cash (or in this case, draft picks). You walk into a grocery store where there's a wide but limited amount of options in front of you -- there's still plenty of cereal (in this case, offensive lineman, a staple of the NFL diet), there's some ok cuts of meat (or in this case, running backs), and there's even some interesting deserts (wide receivers). But you reach for the bananas -- yes, tight ends are the bananas of the NFL. No one gets excited about bananas. They're somewhat useful, but you can't build a meal (or an offense) around them. Plus, you already have a bunch of bananas at home, and they're rapidly turning brown and mushy. You say, "No, it'll be different this time. I'll use those bananas. I can put them on cereal, or mix them in a protein shake, or even eat them on their own." But deep down inside, you know you're lying to yourself... those bananas are going to sit on the counter until they grow black and mushy and you toss them into the garbage with a shrug thinking, "Why do I always buy bananas?" Honestly, you don't even know what to do with them -- Do you put them on the counter? Do you put them in the fridge? Do you place them in a brown paper bag and store them in a cool place? It's the same thing with tight ends -- Do you use them in pass blocking schemes? Do they support the run? Do they open up the passing game? No one really knows, which is why tight ends remain one of the universe's great mysteries... right up there with bananas.

The Steelers seem to think they have it all figured out though. They spelled out their reasons yesterday, and the "Post-Gazette" was there to catalog them all. I honestly hope they figure out a way to get a little banana up in the offensive scheme next season, or else we're going to wind up with some expensive brown mush sitting on the counter.

in case you were wondering...

have you been trying to figure out whatever happened to Troy Edwards? me neither, but just in case the though crosses your mind, you can find him in Grand Rapids playing arena ball for the rampage. Now to Steeler fans, the name is almost as synonymous with unmet offensive potential as "Cliff Stoudt" (ALMOST)... the Steelers made Edwards the 13th overall pick in the NFL draft back in 1999 ahead of Jevon Kearse, Kevin Faulk, Peerless Price, Brandon Stokley, and a host of other guys who went on to have fairly decent careers (the Steelers also opted for safety Scott Shields in the second round... thank god they grabbed Joey Porter and Aaron Smith in the later rounds). Edwards had a strong rookie season, then petered out and saw his exit hastened by the arrival of Plaxico Burress. He did time with the Rams and Jaguars and was last seen in the NFL back in 2005 when he played three games for the Lions (they're still technically an NFL team, right?).
It's worth noting, the Rampage are currently 2-3, and Edwards is third on the team in receiving yards.

looking ahead

- the bosses of the various Steeler families got together late last week to talk about the upcoming season and to map out plans for a New York takeover. we've got a few New York area off-season events coming up, and the season will bring the usual -- gameday specials and Steelers music at Texas-Arizona, Steeler raffles, road trips, t-shirts, etc. -- and the unusual -- a chance to tailgate in our backyard when the Steelers come to the Meadowlands to play the Jets. more details to come here and over at SteelersNYC.com, but just talking about this stuff (even in the vaguest of terms) and of course seeing all the familiar faces already has me geeked for the season.

- so the Pirates have their home opener today (expected temperature when the first pitch is thrown is 38 degrees). after 6-3 win over the Reds, the Pirates bring a 4-2 to PNC Park after a 6-game road trip to start the season... not bad for a team that didn't rack up it's fourth road win until May 20 last year.
why do I bring that up? because when you're a Pirates fan, you learn to savor the small pockets of joy. I'll enjoy a strong April, fearing a May collapse. I'll take a post-All Star break surge from a team that's been out of contention since Memorial Day. I'll even take a drubbing at home if it means I get to enjoy decent seats and warm pierogies... these are the things you savor as a Pirates fan.

- and speaking of underdogs, big ups to Matt Serra for his first-round knock out of George St-Pierre Saturday night to take the UFC Welterweight Championship. To put it in familiar terms, this is like the Pirates sweeping the Yankees to win the World Series... or the Steelers winning three straight road playoff games on their way to a Super Bowl championship (yeah, I'm still not over that). I was lucky enough to meet Matt when I was out in Las Vegas in December for the Ortiz-Liddell fight, and he was very nice, very open, and very friendly (much friendlier than any guy with his skill set needs to be). St-Pierre is a decent fellow too, and will undoubtedly come back, but it was great to see Serra win the belt.

getting used to the new place

So it's been almost two years since I updated my blog over at SteelersNYC.com. I chose to blame that on tools instead of laziness, inability to prioritize, alcohol or anything else, so I'm porting the whole thing over here. Yes, I'm sure this will work out much better.

To mark the move to the new digs, I'm pulling a gem out of the vault -- my list of why the Steelers are better than every other team in the NFL. Enjoy, jagoffs...

Who better?

If, like me, you're a Steelers fan making your living somewhere other than western PA, you've probably been approached more than once and asked, "Why do you like the Steelers?" It's an asinine question, and the people who ask it usually follow-up with a laundry list of things that they think are wrong with the Steelers.
They, of course, are wrong, but they did inspire me to explain my devotion to the Steelers by breaking down what's wrong with every other team in the NFL.
Philadelphia Eagles - Like school in July... no class.
New York Giants - Um, they don't actually play in New York.
New York Jets - See above.
Dallas Cowboys - From Jerry Jones to Ed "Too Tall" Jones, a rich history of jackasses.
Green Bay Packers - The closest thing to the Steelers out there, but the yellow helmets and cheese-heads gots to go.
Chicago Bears - Another hard-working, hard-hitting team, but they'll never get over the horror of "The Super Bowl Shuffle." Picking up Kordell for a cup of coffee didn't help.
Baltimore Ravens - Uniforms that would embarrass the World League, and conduct that would embarrass Death Row Records.
Washington Redskins - They finally gave Steve Spurrier a shot in the NFL, and we can always hate them for it.
Detroit Lions - There's no room for powder blue in football.
Minnesota Vikings - Thanks for Super Bowl IX... now get back on the party boat.
New Orleans Saints - Giving black & gold a bad name.
Tampa Bay Bucs - They introduced us to Warren Sapp, which is pretty unforgiveable.
Atlanta Falcons - If you've ever cut Deion Sanders a check, I have no time for you.
Carolina Panthers - Pitt called, they want their mascot back.
San Francisco 49ers - Nice run in the '80s... but the Steelers of the '70s did it first.
Arizona Cardinals - You could fit the entire crowd at one of their home games into a 1965 VW bus.
New England Patriots - Upgraded their uniforms from a man bending over to something from an XFL clearance sale.
St. Louis Rams - If you've ever bailed on a city for a "better deal," you're not in my book.
Tennessee Titans - See above. They're still the Oilers to me.
Oakland Raiders - Again, see above. Plus, there's Al Davis, the one man keeping Grecian Formula in business.
Indianapolis Colts - I'm noticing a trend here. Established in the most cowardly and devious act in the history of the NFL, the notorious overnight move from Baltimore in 1984.
Houston Texans - They hired Kris Brown.
Miami Dolphins - You wear aqua and orange and you're named after a fish.
Jacksonville Jaguars - A legacy of crap dating all the way back to 1995.
Denver Broncos - You know what I like about the Broncos? Nothing.
San Diego Chargers - Named after static electricity. Scary.
Buffalo Bills - Norwood? Levy? How does this team still have fans?
Kansas City Chiefs - This is one of those teams that you forget when you're trying to name all the teams in the NFL. That says it all.
Seattle Seahawks - Never, ever, ever to be forgiven for the embarrassment of Franco Harris' last few games in the NFL.
Cincinnati Bengals - Siegfried and Roy called. They want their uniforms back.
Cleveland Browns - Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.