The Steelers bye week gave me the chance to check out what the rest of the NFL calls football. It wasn't pretty...
BROWNS 41 - DOLPHINS 31
The Joey Porter-enhanced Dolphins D gave up 41 points to the Browns as the fish slipped to 0-6. Probably not the return they were looking for on their $32 million investment in Joey. Through six games, he doesn't have a single sack, and yesterday, he was beaten for a big TD by longtime verbal (and sometimes literal) sparring partner, Kellen Winslow, Jr. No doubt, if there was a "lemon law" in the NFL, the Dolphins would be towing Joey back to the lot right about now.
PANTHERS 25 - CARDINALS 10
Apparently a top-op somewhere slipped up and accidentally rolled game footage from 9 years ago. That can really be the only explanation for the fact that I was seeing Kurt Warner and Vinny Testaverde behind center.
CHIEFS 27 - BENGALS 20
You know why Tony Gonzalez went bananas this week and put up two touchdowns? Because I traded him away in my Fantasy league. You're welcome, Kansas City.
PACKERS 17 - REDSKINS 14
Even when Brett Favre stinks, he's kind of great (or at least great enough to beat the 'Skins).
EAGLES 16 - JETS 9
This game was ugly... Like "Teri Hatcher without makeup" ugly. I realize that we live in the shadow of the Meadowlands, but Fox 5 really should have shown some mercy and cut away to a "M.A.S.H." rerun or something.
VIKINGS 34 - BEARS 31
Remember the old days of the NFC Central (yeah, "Central"), when hard-nosed teams played hard-nosed football... You know, with defense and everything? For a second, I thought I was watching two kids lighting up Madden '08.
BUCCANEERS 13 - TITANS 10
Conventional football wisdom says that games that come down to a last-second field goal are exciting. Sometimes, conventional football wisdom is wrong... painfully wrong.
JAGUARS 37 - TEXANS 17
And they laughed at me when I drafted Maurice Jones-Drew in the third round. Who's laughing now? Mr. 129-yards-rushing-and-two-touchdowns, that's who.
RAVENS 22 - RAMS 3
I missed this one... Did the Rams miss the player bus from the hotel Sunday morning?
CHARGERS 28 - RAIDERS 14
This is supposed to be the place where I say something about "the real LaDainian Tomlinson" finally showing up and racking up four TDs. Instead, since I'm bitter that he's not on my team, I'll instead ask if the Chargers offense allows anyone else to touch the ball.
SAINTS 28 - SEAHAWKS 17
I said it last week, and I'll say it again today: the Seahawks suck. I bet they miss Brian Bosworth.
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